HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY TORI

The cake (I ordered it, I know where my talents are and are not). Tori picked it out. She LOVES Ariel. Her day was perfect. We decorated the house last night and so when she woke up this morning she woke up to a banner, balloons and a dozen pink roses. We sang to her. We had her pictures taken. She asked if her BFF, Kaylie, could go with her to McDonald's Playland for lunch. They played. Red Lobster for dinner (thanks Grandma Judi and Grandpa Bill), and then a small party. Tori had so much fun. She received a TON of presents, and now she is sleeping soundly.

I cannot believe that she is 5!! Where did the time go? Kindergarden in September? I have loved watching her personality emerge. I love her intelligence. I love her zest for life. I love her kindness. I love her creativity. I love her persistence (sometimes). I love everything about Tori. She is an amazing little girl.

*I cannot find where I copied the pictures that documented her day. They are somewhere on my computer. The only one I could find was a picture of her cake--LAME.

Michael

He is the sweetest little boy. He is so good. He is easy to correct. He is happy. I love when he runs up and gives me hugs. His speech is amazing, he speaks in some sentences. He loves to be read to. We cannot teach him enough about cars, trucks, and machines. He is all boy. Jared is excited to have someone that enjoys the things that he enjoys. I love how much he loves his sister. Their relationship is priceless. Every day I am grateful that he became a member of our family.

TIPPING

This has been a topic of great debate throughout our marriage. Jared is in my opinion overly generous with waiters, hairdressers, taxi drivers, sky cap at the airport. etc. He always gives them a tip. I view tipping as a way of thanking a person for doing a good job. I do not feel as though because they served me that automatically means I give them money. I do not feel as though I need to give them a paycheck in addition to what their employer pays them. Sometimes I would prefer to give them advice instead of a monetary tip (ie. you would have received a tip from me if it did not take you 20 minutes to take my order...). I think the practice of tipping is interesting. A professor from Cornell Michael Lynn has studied tipping for the last 20 years. Can you believe he studied this for 20 years??? Now you all know why I never pursued or want to pursue a doctoral program, I simply could not study the same topic for the rest of my mortal existence. I digress.. In his research Dr. Lynn found that the major reason people tip is to avoid social disapproval, it is not a reward for good service. As you can see he never asked me.

Over the years I have found that people use different methods to decide about tipping. I have divided them into groups.

Group A (Jared): No matter how bad the service is I will tip AT LEAST 15%.
Group B: 15% if he service is adequate 20% if the service is good
Group C: Outrageous tips ("we gave the waitress $1000 tip because we felt sorry for her--we have all read/heard those stories)
Group D: 15% if the service was good. If the service was bad nothing and I might leave a note depending on how bad my experience was.

My friend's dad is one of my hero. When he sits down at a table he writes down 15% on a piece of paper or napkin. Depending on the service he crosses out the number and either goes up or down. I wish I could be that bold. For me the biggest factor is I should never be thristy. In other words my Diet Coke should be free flowing.

So I did a little research. Found out that I am wrong in my opinion, but let's face it I am not going to change. I am not going to pay someone for poor service....EVER! I have other places that I want to spend my money. Oh and when my mom and Jared try to pay people in cash on the table after we have had a bad experience I have been known to take the money as we leave. In case you are interested here is the article.

So what is your opinion? Oh and before I forget the tip jars at the ice cream stand, Chinese restaurant, pizza place, I am sure by now you know my response to those things....

BUNGEE CORD

Jared has been home with us this week. He has been quite helpful. He has helped me and played with the kids. Michael is not a big fan of Dad being at home because Dad has changed his world. Jared got tired of taking Michael off of the kitchen table, opening and pulling out everything from the kitchen cupboards. So Jared (because he is wonderful) has installed BUNGEE cords everywhere. The bungee cords keep the kitchen chairs around the table and the kitchen cupboards safe from the grasp of the 17 month-old man cub. Life is grand. Oh and he got tired of the kids waking one another up, so he separated their beds (no more bunk beds) and he put up a wall to divide them (they each have their own space). Again life is grand!!!I love having him home. I love that he can build and fix anything. I love that he loves us. And most importantly I love BUNGEE CORDS.

Annoyed.

ANNOYED. I know no surprise. What made me so annoyed today? Read below:


Actor Tom Hanks went after The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for their support of California's Proposition 8 while talking to Fox News. Today, the Church responded.

Hanks played a gay attorney who was fired from his job in the movie "Philadelphia," and he paid special tribute to a couple of gay teachers in his Oscar acceptance speech. Now, he is slamming people who voted for an anti-gay marriage proposition in California.

The executive producer of HBO's "Big Love" told Fox News at the show's premier party Wednesday that a lot of Mormons gave money to make Prop. 8 happen and he felt it was un-American.

Hanks is hoping this will shed light on who is responsible and that America and California can move forward instead of backward.

Church spokesman Scott Trotter issued a one-sentence statement today in response to Hanks' comments. It reads: "Expressing an opinion in a free and democratic society is as American as it gets."

Believe it or not I don't tell people how they should live their lives. I will give my opinion, if asked. For the most part I keep my opinions to myself (trust me I do). My mother who is reading this is laughing. However, when I heard what Tom Hanks said about me (because I took his statement personally) I became angry. I am so tired of people trying to make "normal" things that are contrary to God's commandments. My mom often will talk about the abnormal sociology class that she took in college (many years ago). She is astounded that things that were once considered abnormal in society are now acceptable. Honestly I do not care about someone's sexual preference, I don't care what they do in the privacy of their own homes, and I don't care who they chose to spend their life with. I DO care when they start redefining marriage. However, why am I un-American? Because I do not want to change the definition of marriage. I do not want anyone discriminated against, and that includes me. As a society we are entering murky waters and we need to take a stand. I love the way that the LDS church responded to Mr. Hanks "Expressing an opinion in a free and democratic society is as American as it gets." So Mr. Hanks, I am American even though I don't agree with you. The fact that we disagree does not make me a bad person, or you a bad person. It makes us Americans. Americans who have the right to express their opinions. Slandering people, bullying people and nasty comments are not really way to win friends and influence people for good.

Mr. Hanks you and I are parting ways. I have had the upmost respect for you as an actor until now. It is not because you were against Prop 8, but because of your comment that I am un-American. As an American I will no longer support any of your projects. You have now been added to the list of celebrities that I have little respect for and refuse to watch their films Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt (cheating on a spouse), and Tom Cruise (unrealistic expectations).

Those of us who supported Prop 8 are not un-American. We simply excerised the rights the our fore-fathers gave us. I will not apologize for my convictions or beliefs, and I expect the same from you.

Years ago I heard Glenn Beck discuss how tired he is of celebrities trying to tell people how to think about social issues. I agree. We are intelligent beings. Present us with the facts and we can draw our own conclusions. Please do not resort to name calling, it is ineffective.

Regarding the issue of equal rights for gay and lesbian couples I am not sure what the solution is, but I am sure that God defined marriage between a man and a woman to procreate. Maybe there should be civil unions? What is your opinion? I have not formulated my opinion, yet.

The week that Jared left me....

with two sick children. Tori had the stomach flu and Michael had an ear infection and the stomach flu. The house has been cleaned, Lysoled, carpets shampooed, all of the laundry cleaned and the bedding changed countless times, and I feel as though I am finally getting a handle on it all. So one late night I stayed up pondering my life. I came to the realization that this would soon be my life. Jared will be gone working, I will be home taking care of our children. I have felt completely overwhelmed this week. Thankfully I have sick time and I have not worked in addition to taking care of sick children. I really do not know how single parents do it. They are my new heros. I did not realized how wonderful it was to have a husband who was a student. I did not realize all that he does to help with the children. I did not realize how long days and nights really are, they are a lot longer when you are tending to a sick child. Again I am grateful for friends willing to help me. Again I am reminded how I wish we lived closer to family. Again I am reminded of Heavenly Father's constant concern for his children. And as I looked in the mirror this morning I realized that lack of sleep makes me look old, and I saw way too many gray hairs to count. Motherhood has taken its toll on me., but it has also changed me for the better. I am so happy that I have been given the opportunity to have children. They have taught me a lot, and I love them dearly.

So Jared has not left me permanently. He will return Saturday morning from his business trip. I am ready to count the hours. We do much better as a team. I really missed him yesterday when Tori had her 5 year-old check-up at the doctor. It took four of us to hold her down for her immunizations. It was fun. The entire heard her scream and yell that she does not care for shots. She did like the princess bandaids, sticker, sucker, and rings she got for her bravery. Michael also got a sucker because he cried because she cried. Oh the joy. I don't even get embarassed anymore. Tori is just a lot of drama.

I made Michael's day today. We walked through the Automotive section at Walmart. I cannot beleive how excited and happy he was to look at that stuff. He really is Jared's son. His first word was tractor. He always carries a matchbox car in his hand. He is entertained for a good 30 minutes just looking at his truck and tractor book. It is nothing we have encouraged, it is just who he is. I love seeing the differences between my children.

Christmas Pictures

These are in no particular order. I thought that we took more picture. The pictures from San Francisco I will post anther time.

Grandma and Grandpa bought Tori and Mikey a red car. Tori is afraid to drive it, but Mikey isn't!

Christmas morning.

They were in awe.

The only time the cats would come near Tori was when she was sleeping. Here she is sleeping in Grandma and Grandpa's bed. We had to document the proof that the cats were near her when she slept.

The Gingerbread house disaster! It looked like an earthquake came when we were decorating it. Tori liked the candy, not the decorating.

It's a New Year

First the IMPORTANT news....it is OFFICIAL JARED HAS GRADUATED!!!!! We are so happy. We are so excited for our next adventure. We love adventures and change. Life is good right now. We just returned from a FABULOUS vacation at Grandma Judi and Grandpa Bill's house (pictures are forthcoming when I find where I packed the camera). It is a great place to visit. There is so much to do. I really love California!! It is my idea of winter, no snow and fairly warm. Tori and Michael loved it! Tori chased "the cat named Millie" and "the cat named Molly" around all day long. She kept feeding them. We found bowls of cat food all over the house. I asked her why. She told me that "the cat named Millie was really hungry". I ask "how do you know that she is hungry?" Tori patiently explains "when she growls that means she is hungry." Needless to say Millie was hungry a lot.

I had the great idea of driving to California with the kids. Tori and Jared were annoyed. As Tori put it "we don't drive to California we fly, that is just silly." Jared verbalized similar feelings, but I thought that driving would be fun. We bought a dual portable DVD player for the kids (thanks Dad) and I thought that this would be fun. Words cannot describe the the trip. I will leave you with the image of Michael screaming in his car seat (he HATES his car seat and does NOT sleep anywhere but in his own bed), Tori insisting that we watch a Sesame Street Sing Along with Me no less than 50 times, and Jared non-verbal vibe of "I told you that we should have flown." I am just so excited to drive back to NY in a few months. Oh the anticipation.

It is a New Year. Has anyone read this month's Ensign? There is a wonderful article about Peaches, Pruning and Spiritual Progress. Read the article it is fantastic. She poses one question that has lingered with me Do I let go of what is unnecessary or sinful in my life and keep only what is good? So my friends that is my New Year's Resolution to keep only the good in my life. Jared is really lucky that he is good, or he would have to be pruned :)

Happy New Year!!!!