Saturday, April 14, 2012

Wow--What a difference a year can make.

We are back. Living in Utah, and I am so happy. Jared is working for BYU and loves his job. I cannot believe how much I LOVE living in Utah this time around. Living in New York in all honesty was probably one of the most challenging times in my life and I am so glad that trial is over. Please don't misunderstand me it was not NY as much as the circumstances in NY that made it so difficult. Hence why I did not blog and I was looking through our picyures and realized I really did not document our lives well over the past three years. It was such a struggle just to get through life. In retrospect I wish I had been better about documentation. I really want my children to know that after the storm comes great blessings.

As I sit here wide awake five months pregnant with our fourth child (third girl), and I am thinking I really should be sleeping. My mind is racing about so many things. It is nice to have some quiet time to myself. To think my own thoughts and not be interrupted by the daily things in life. The news over the past few days has brought up the conflict once again between stay-at-home moms vs. working outside of your home moms. I have done both neither one is easy. If I am being honest going to work is a lot easier for me than the daily grind of staying at home. At work I feel as though I have accomplished something, at home I feel I wipe off the same counters and never accomplish anything,  My mom has said a number of times (she has worked outside of her home for 40 years) that having women in the workforce means now women have to full time jobs---their home and their job and they also get to feel guilty about both. She  is right. I am fortunate I work from home evenings, and spend a tremendous amount of time with my children. They have someone watch them other than Jared and I occasionally. I like working it keeps my mind active. I like being with my children because when it is all said and done that is what I am responsible to nurture and teach. But, inside my there is always a conflict, I am ambitious and there are things that I want to accomplish professionally that I cannot do at this time in my life because I have small children, and I kept getting pregnant so it delays the timeline even more. Today I was thinking about my professional goals while changing Eden's diaper and as I finished she stood up said "Thank you" and toddled out of the room. It hit me in that moment in time they really are only going to be little once. This is not my season, they need me, and it is ok. Someday I will be able to fulfill all of my ambitions, but for now I am theirs and they are mine. So we went to the park and watched a movie. I am blessed. Everyday I watch Victoria get up early to read her scriptures. She is devouring them she reads all of the time. She then makes up lessons with pictures so that she can teach Michael and Eden. As a mother I cannot take credit for her actions, it comes from her, but I get to see it and experience the joy she finds as she learns about Christ on her terms for the first time. We have always taught her, but she is learning for herself and there is nothing more marvelous than that experience.
So as I struggle feeling guilty that I should be doing more to be Super Mom, I remind myself that don't need Super Mom, they just want me to be with them, and at the end of the day truly that is all that matters. Because professionally I see the impact on children's lives when for whatever reason parents are absent from their lives.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Finally it is SPRING!!!

I LOVE Spring. I LOVE the green grass, the budding trees, picking out flowers to plant in my flower beds, buying seeds to plant vegetables in our garden. Unfortunately with all of that beauty comes the RAIN. There have been times this past month that I have felt like Noah (ok Noah's wife) wondering if we should be building an ark. It has rained and rained and rained. Although today the sun is out and it smells like Spring with yellow dandelions EVERYWHERE--for Tori's picking pleasure. I get many many many dandelions every day. I think that all little girls love picking them. So what's new??? NOTHING!!! EVERYTHING!!! I don't know where to start.

We move been back in New York for two years now. The time has gone by so fast. There have been so many changes--good changes--hard changes--challenges and triumphs. All in all life is really good. Not the way I expected it to be--but better.

Tori--She is SEVEN! SEVEN!! How did that happen? She has grown up so much.She is confident, self-assured, smart, helpful and kind. She loves her brother and sister, although she did say to me last week as I was giving her brother a bath "remember the good old days before Michael and Eden squeezed in?" However, this morning she was playing with Eden and said "isn't having a baby so much fun" (as Eden squealed with delight as Tori played peek-a-boo with her). It is a struggle for me--I was an only child until I was 20 when my parents adopted my sister. I know she would really love being an only child, although last Sunday I watched in Primary as she and Michael were practcing their Mother's Day song and she had her arm around him rubbing his back while they sang--it was precious. I am excited that summer vacation is almost here and I won't have to share Tori with school for a while.

Michael--Master Michael is THREE!! Independent. Can be naughty. Tries to be independent and has found that words have power. Now before you think that he has heard these phrases--he has not. He is also smart and has learned to put words together in meaningful ways. For example, he was angry with me because I would not allow him to do something that he wanted to do "Mom you are stupid like a lady". (no clue where he could have heard that). He makes up lots of sentences. Michael thinks he is a workman. He has decided which clothes he wears to work. He uses Jared's tools to work on his tractors, jeep and bike. He likes the tools to be organized--he puts them back where he found them. He likes to vacuum and does a good job, he even moves furniture and objects wehn he vacuums.
Michael asks within 15 minutes of dropping Tori off at school if we can pick her up. He misses her when she is at school. He loves to play with her even though he bite her this morning because she was playing with one of his cars.......

Eden--sweet little Eden. Always happy, loves to eat, sleeps like a champ. Smiles, coos she has not figured out how to crawl, but she rolls all over the place. She is EIGHT MONTHS OLD. Time has gone by so fast. The name Eden means delight and she really is a delight. We all love her so much.

So the three children were squeezed into the backseat of a Honda CR-V and our Toyota Prius. I really did not want to buy another car, but we went to Syracuse and the CR-V was not running right Jared had to come out rescue us and tow the CR-V home. He fixed it, but we went and bought a minivan. Oh how I wanted to avoid the minivan. After having it for the past month--I LOVE IT. It is awsome they all fit, there is no fighting, no one complains about the other touching them. The seats are leather and are easy to clean their muddy foot prints off. It has satellite radio. So glad that we entered the 21st century--LOVE SATELLITE radio. It is awesome. It has everything except the dvd players--I really like talking to my kids and I did not want tv to be a distraction in the car. So far I have not regretted that decision.

Jared--He will be done rehab a house that he bought last year. It should go on the market at the end of this week. He has done an AMAZING job. It is beautiful--I should post pictures.

ME--I am always busy, Working fulltime from home--is such a blessing. If I went into the office it would be a 45 minutes commute each way. I love my job, and I love being able to be a mom at the same time. I have gotten use to 5-6 hours of sleep.

All in all life is good. There are so many people in worse situations in life than we are. We want for nothing and have been extremely blessed. We are healthy. Our children brings us so much joy and frustration at times.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

We are ALIVE

Okay. We can all admit that I have not been the best blogger in the world. Although I do enjoy reading everyone else's blogs. This past year has been INSANE. When we move back to NY I started working for an insurance company. At first I worked evenings and then nights and now I work some nights and mornings. I love my job and I work from home which I love. Anyway the beginning of 2010 we found out we were expecting Baby Parrotti #3. Eden Anne was born September 15, 2010 at 8:14pm. I should post those pictures...Anyway she is perfect, and Michael and Tori LOVE her. Eden was not a fan of the bib. Usually she only cries when she is hungry.
My big first grader. Tori loves school. She has quite the imagination. She puts on plays reads, draws, writes. Tori is great

Michael is Jared's son and loves everything Jared does. He thinks he is a workman.

Eden is the best baby who just woke up from her nap, and needs to be fed. More to come...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I pledge MY allegiance to


Why after my extended absence would my first post be about Target? Well, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Target, but I forgot, at least until Target reminded me why I have a love affair with her. Picture it Saturday night, and we are out of diapers. How does that happen? Michael is a Pampers baby. Every other diaper he wears make him leak. I HATE leaking diapers. It is disgusting. So I have a coupon for Pampers diapers at Target. I have not been to Target since we moved here. Wal-mart is a lot closer (and the customers can be scary, dirty, frightening, etc), but I have decided Target is worth the drive. So I enter Target and I feel myself center. I am calm. My senses take in my surroundings, I feel excitement and I feel as though I am home. I find the diaper aisle. Next to my beloved Pampers (you know the company that should pay me because I have spent an insane amount of money purchasing their diapers over the years, remember Tori refused to potty train until she was 3 1/2 years old) I see it. A gold box. Target brand diapers. They are significantly cheaper and have more diapers in the box. I seize the opportunity. I decide to buy them, if they leak I will return them for a refund.

Guess what my long-lost friends (due to my blogging absence)? They DON'T leak. My life is complete. Michael, all furniture, clothes and beds are dry. I am a happy woman who has an extra $6.00 to spend on something else.

Target, I pledge my allegiance to you. You have never failed me yet, and when I visit you I come out poorer, but it is worth every retail therapy penny.

Coming Soon to my blog:
Farm pictures
Anniversary Pictures
Michael's birthday celebration
New toys
and a whole lot more.

Monday, April 27, 2009

It has been a long time and so much has happened.


So when I last blogged we had decided do to graduate school in Utah. As I looked for a job in Utah it became clear that I would not make enough money to support a family of four above the poverty line. I was very frustrated. Jared was trying to schedule his GMAT exam and was having difficulty. Prior to the graduate school idea we both were submitting resumes to perspective employers in New York. The current economic conditions make it hard next to impossible for recent college graduates to find job in the business field, but the field was "white and ready to harvest" for those of us with a masters' degree and six years experience under their belt. Jared and I were ready to be done living in 650 square feet with two small children. We were ready to go and live a "normal" non-college life again, but every door kept shutting. Jared really wanted to be able to support our family, and have me raise our children, in short this was a very frustrating period of time. Out of the four resumes' I submitted I had three call me back and wanted to interview me. They wanted to know when I would return to New York. On March 25th a woman from a local New York hospital called she wanted me to fill one of her three open positions, she also wanted to know when I would return to New York. After my phone call it became clear that in order to get a job in New York we needed to live in New York. We decided it was time to move and we left on March 28th. We are so grateful to our amazing friends who helped us complete this feat. We managed to FILL a 22 foot moving truck and then we filled it two more times in New York moving our belongings out of storage (we have a lot of stuff).

Our trip across the country was uneventful. We saw no precipitation, it was windy, but not bad. The kids were perfect (thank you portable dvd player and big moving truck). Jared drove the truck I drove the car and we changed kids as needed. We arrived in Albany on April 1st.

The house was a bit more challenging than expected, but Jared can fix anything and he did. We stayed with family until we had heat, hot water, running water and the house had its first of multiple cleanings (it has been empty of almost three years). We are really starting to get the house together as we have found many treasures that have been in storage since 2006.

So as for my job offers the woman from the hospital did not return my phone calls, nor did the man from the local agency who wanted to hire me. I have been really nervous. We felt so prompted to move when we did, it was miraculous how quickly we moved, but the jobs that I had lined up fell through. Jared kept telling me things would work out and be fine. So I decided to trust him and he was right. I was offered and accepted a fabulous job making twice as much money as I expected, with excellent benefits, four weeks vacation, and it allows me to be at home until 4pm every day and a $3000 sign-on bonus. I am working as a clinical social worker for an insurance company making sure that people receive the appropriate treatment for their psychiatric and substance abuse problems. This job is perfect for our family. It allows me to do all of the things that I wanted to do, and gives me flexibility. It allows Jared to pursue the things that he would like to do and we can parent our children together.

So the last month has been crazy, yet peaceful. I have had the chance to organize my home before I go back to work. I have had time to reflect on my BYU experience. I have been surprised how much I missed check-outs, my RAs and my students. I felt as I drove from Utah that I was entering the lone and dreary world (the real world is not so bad). I am helping my children adjust to our new life, and have established some good habits. All in all it has been a month of growth.

Life is good on the farm ( I like to think that I happen to live in the house that has three huge barns next to it). I will post pictures when I finish my projects...the transformation will be amazing. Michael and Tori are happy. Michael's first word every morning is tradu (tractor) and today Tori sobbed because her dad mowed her beautiful garden of yellow flowers (dandelions).

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Decisions....Shoes....Bad parenting....

One of my favorite lines from the movie The Little Mermaid is said by Ursula, the sea witch, when Ariel is given the choice between getting human legs in exchange for her voice. Ursula says to Ariel "life is full of tough choices isn't it?" Yes life is full of tough choices. For this reason I have not updated our blog recently. Jared and I have been making some very tough choices, and although we feel as though we have made the right choice the truth is that with any choice made there are trade-offs. So we are headed to graduate school, mostly likely in Utah. Graduate school applications are due in June so we have a few more weeks of the unknown. Although we are disappointed that we are not going back to New York right now, we feel so much peace about our decision.

I have been telling Jared for weeks that I thought Mikey needed new shoes. He said he thought they were fine since his foot still went into the shoe. So I measured his foot and he wears a 7 1/2 and his shoes were 5 1/2. Obviously we bought him new shoes we put them on his feet and the kid ran through Dillard's. He admires his shoes daily.

Have you ever felt like a bad parent? You know the days when you feel as though you are not as patient as you should have been with your children? Ok maybe that is just me, but I was in Wal-Mart the other day and realized maybe I am not so bad. There was a mother and daughter shopping together. The daughter was about 7-8 years old and is trying to put her hat into the cart and the mother says "if you put your hat in the cart I am going to hurt your dog." Seriously I was stunned. I have not heard anything like that sinceI was a social worker. So maybe I am not so bad.

Next post pictures...I promise. I have some cute ones..