Decisions....Shoes....Bad parenting....

One of my favorite lines from the movie The Little Mermaid is said by Ursula, the sea witch, when Ariel is given the choice between getting human legs in exchange for her voice. Ursula says to Ariel "life is full of tough choices isn't it?" Yes life is full of tough choices. For this reason I have not updated our blog recently. Jared and I have been making some very tough choices, and although we feel as though we have made the right choice the truth is that with any choice made there are trade-offs. So we are headed to graduate school, mostly likely in Utah. Graduate school applications are due in June so we have a few more weeks of the unknown. Although we are disappointed that we are not going back to New York right now, we feel so much peace about our decision.

I have been telling Jared for weeks that I thought Mikey needed new shoes. He said he thought they were fine since his foot still went into the shoe. So I measured his foot and he wears a 7 1/2 and his shoes were 5 1/2. Obviously we bought him new shoes we put them on his feet and the kid ran through Dillard's. He admires his shoes daily.

Have you ever felt like a bad parent? You know the days when you feel as though you are not as patient as you should have been with your children? Ok maybe that is just me, but I was in Wal-Mart the other day and realized maybe I am not so bad. There was a mother and daughter shopping together. The daughter was about 7-8 years old and is trying to put her hat into the cart and the mother says "if you put your hat in the cart I am going to hurt your dog." Seriously I was stunned. I have not heard anything like that sinceI was a social worker. So maybe I am not so bad.

Next post pictures...I promise. I have some cute ones..

My Daughter and her ring

In the beginning of January my daughter came home with a ring. She was so proud of her ring. She admires her ring like most women admire their engagement ring. She wears her ring every day. She refuses to take the ring off when she sleeps or bathes. This ring has become part of her. When she came home from church with her ring I quickly went to the Distribution Center and bought five more just in case one was misplaced. Well seven weeks later she still has the same ring. She loves it! I love that she knows what it means.
When Jared picked her up from her Primary class she explained to him that CTR means Choose The Right. Meaning to do the things that Heavenly Father would like her to do. Then she asked how to spell wrong. You see Tori has a sense of humor. She thought it would be silly to wear a CTW ring.

As I watch her admire her ring on a daily basis I realize how much she loves Heavenly Father. How much she wants to be a good girl. I love watching her read the scriptures. I love that she loves the Bible stories. This week's favorite is Abraham and Isaac (I sick).

Last week we took the children to the Draper Temple Open House. I was amazed at the reverence that both of them showed. They were so happy to be in the temple. Tonight as Tori and Jared walked the grounds of the Mount Timpanogos she kept asking questions about faith, repentence, baptism and gift of the Holy Ghost.

Once again I am reminded that when we follow the prophet's counsel and teach our children the gospel, even when we think they are not paying attention we are blessed as a family. My fear of Kindergarten lessens each time I see her grasp the gospel in her heart.

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY TORI

The cake (I ordered it, I know where my talents are and are not). Tori picked it out. She LOVES Ariel. Her day was perfect. We decorated the house last night and so when she woke up this morning she woke up to a banner, balloons and a dozen pink roses. We sang to her. We had her pictures taken. She asked if her BFF, Kaylie, could go with her to McDonald's Playland for lunch. They played. Red Lobster for dinner (thanks Grandma Judi and Grandpa Bill), and then a small party. Tori had so much fun. She received a TON of presents, and now she is sleeping soundly.

I cannot believe that she is 5!! Where did the time go? Kindergarden in September? I have loved watching her personality emerge. I love her intelligence. I love her zest for life. I love her kindness. I love her creativity. I love her persistence (sometimes). I love everything about Tori. She is an amazing little girl.

*I cannot find where I copied the pictures that documented her day. They are somewhere on my computer. The only one I could find was a picture of her cake--LAME.

Michael

He is the sweetest little boy. He is so good. He is easy to correct. He is happy. I love when he runs up and gives me hugs. His speech is amazing, he speaks in some sentences. He loves to be read to. We cannot teach him enough about cars, trucks, and machines. He is all boy. Jared is excited to have someone that enjoys the things that he enjoys. I love how much he loves his sister. Their relationship is priceless. Every day I am grateful that he became a member of our family.

TIPPING

This has been a topic of great debate throughout our marriage. Jared is in my opinion overly generous with waiters, hairdressers, taxi drivers, sky cap at the airport. etc. He always gives them a tip. I view tipping as a way of thanking a person for doing a good job. I do not feel as though because they served me that automatically means I give them money. I do not feel as though I need to give them a paycheck in addition to what their employer pays them. Sometimes I would prefer to give them advice instead of a monetary tip (ie. you would have received a tip from me if it did not take you 20 minutes to take my order...). I think the practice of tipping is interesting. A professor from Cornell Michael Lynn has studied tipping for the last 20 years. Can you believe he studied this for 20 years??? Now you all know why I never pursued or want to pursue a doctoral program, I simply could not study the same topic for the rest of my mortal existence. I digress.. In his research Dr. Lynn found that the major reason people tip is to avoid social disapproval, it is not a reward for good service. As you can see he never asked me.

Over the years I have found that people use different methods to decide about tipping. I have divided them into groups.

Group A (Jared): No matter how bad the service is I will tip AT LEAST 15%.
Group B: 15% if he service is adequate 20% if the service is good
Group C: Outrageous tips ("we gave the waitress $1000 tip because we felt sorry for her--we have all read/heard those stories)
Group D: 15% if the service was good. If the service was bad nothing and I might leave a note depending on how bad my experience was.

My friend's dad is one of my hero. When he sits down at a table he writes down 15% on a piece of paper or napkin. Depending on the service he crosses out the number and either goes up or down. I wish I could be that bold. For me the biggest factor is I should never be thristy. In other words my Diet Coke should be free flowing.

So I did a little research. Found out that I am wrong in my opinion, but let's face it I am not going to change. I am not going to pay someone for poor service....EVER! I have other places that I want to spend my money. Oh and when my mom and Jared try to pay people in cash on the table after we have had a bad experience I have been known to take the money as we leave. In case you are interested here is the article.

So what is your opinion? Oh and before I forget the tip jars at the ice cream stand, Chinese restaurant, pizza place, I am sure by now you know my response to those things....

BUNGEE CORD

Jared has been home with us this week. He has been quite helpful. He has helped me and played with the kids. Michael is not a big fan of Dad being at home because Dad has changed his world. Jared got tired of taking Michael off of the kitchen table, opening and pulling out everything from the kitchen cupboards. So Jared (because he is wonderful) has installed BUNGEE cords everywhere. The bungee cords keep the kitchen chairs around the table and the kitchen cupboards safe from the grasp of the 17 month-old man cub. Life is grand. Oh and he got tired of the kids waking one another up, so he separated their beds (no more bunk beds) and he put up a wall to divide them (they each have their own space). Again life is grand!!!I love having him home. I love that he can build and fix anything. I love that he loves us. And most importantly I love BUNGEE CORDS.

Annoyed.

ANNOYED. I know no surprise. What made me so annoyed today? Read below:


Actor Tom Hanks went after The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for their support of California's Proposition 8 while talking to Fox News. Today, the Church responded.

Hanks played a gay attorney who was fired from his job in the movie "Philadelphia," and he paid special tribute to a couple of gay teachers in his Oscar acceptance speech. Now, he is slamming people who voted for an anti-gay marriage proposition in California.

The executive producer of HBO's "Big Love" told Fox News at the show's premier party Wednesday that a lot of Mormons gave money to make Prop. 8 happen and he felt it was un-American.

Hanks is hoping this will shed light on who is responsible and that America and California can move forward instead of backward.

Church spokesman Scott Trotter issued a one-sentence statement today in response to Hanks' comments. It reads: "Expressing an opinion in a free and democratic society is as American as it gets."

Believe it or not I don't tell people how they should live their lives. I will give my opinion, if asked. For the most part I keep my opinions to myself (trust me I do). My mother who is reading this is laughing. However, when I heard what Tom Hanks said about me (because I took his statement personally) I became angry. I am so tired of people trying to make "normal" things that are contrary to God's commandments. My mom often will talk about the abnormal sociology class that she took in college (many years ago). She is astounded that things that were once considered abnormal in society are now acceptable. Honestly I do not care about someone's sexual preference, I don't care what they do in the privacy of their own homes, and I don't care who they chose to spend their life with. I DO care when they start redefining marriage. However, why am I un-American? Because I do not want to change the definition of marriage. I do not want anyone discriminated against, and that includes me. As a society we are entering murky waters and we need to take a stand. I love the way that the LDS church responded to Mr. Hanks "Expressing an opinion in a free and democratic society is as American as it gets." So Mr. Hanks, I am American even though I don't agree with you. The fact that we disagree does not make me a bad person, or you a bad person. It makes us Americans. Americans who have the right to express their opinions. Slandering people, bullying people and nasty comments are not really way to win friends and influence people for good.

Mr. Hanks you and I are parting ways. I have had the upmost respect for you as an actor until now. It is not because you were against Prop 8, but because of your comment that I am un-American. As an American I will no longer support any of your projects. You have now been added to the list of celebrities that I have little respect for and refuse to watch their films Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt (cheating on a spouse), and Tom Cruise (unrealistic expectations).

Those of us who supported Prop 8 are not un-American. We simply excerised the rights the our fore-fathers gave us. I will not apologize for my convictions or beliefs, and I expect the same from you.

Years ago I heard Glenn Beck discuss how tired he is of celebrities trying to tell people how to think about social issues. I agree. We are intelligent beings. Present us with the facts and we can draw our own conclusions. Please do not resort to name calling, it is ineffective.

Regarding the issue of equal rights for gay and lesbian couples I am not sure what the solution is, but I am sure that God defined marriage between a man and a woman to procreate. Maybe there should be civil unions? What is your opinion? I have not formulated my opinion, yet.